WOW. thats all i can really say right now. i can't believe that 7 days from right now i will be running around my house packing for disneyland. i remember when we booked the trip. doesn't seem that long ago. now it is here. so weird. time is flying by lately. i have so much going on in my life right now. i feel like i am always going somewhere. always doing something. its nuts.

i am finally losing weight. the right way. no fad diets. i have been going to the gym at least an hour 5 days a week. i have been dieting. it is working! i have lost 15.3 pounds as of right now. i feel great. i do have these feelings of doubt. i always doubt myself. i never feel like it is enough. did i workout enough? did i count my calories good enough? am i strong enough to do this? its hard. i have been trying to keep positive. not easy. busting my butt to lose a pound or 2 a week is really really different for me. on hcg i was losing 1-2 pounds per day. so this slow but steady thing is all new. i am still trying to get used to it. i feel amazing tho. i have energy and i feel stronger. i am a size smaller in jeans and my boobs are shrinking! (i know most people would think this is a bad thing but in my case its really not.) i just feel like i am at war with myself. i have a constant battle going on in my head. i am so proud of myself and i feel so confident i can do this! i also doubt myself and don't feel like i will succeed. its so back and forth. all day. everyday. i am really currently focusing on keeping my head right and being aware of how good i am doing. i know i look better. i don't look how i want to yet but i know i will. just gotta keep going and stay positive. the goal is 140. i still have a ways to go but i can do it! dusty has been sooooo amazing as usual thru out my whole weight loss thing. he supports me 110%. there is no way i would be able to do this and i would of lost what i did without him. i go to the gym monday, tuesday, wednesday morning. he wakes me up, watches corbin, and still manages to get himself ready for work before i even get home. thursdays and fridays i get home from work, throw on my gym clothes and usually don't get home until 830 or 9 and dusty is home watching corbin. he has been a huge support. i am so lucky to have him. he always makes sure my gym clothes are clean for me when i get home. he has been taking care of the house and just everything. he does everything. i feel so useless around there lately. if i'm not at work i am at the gym. when he is at work i am so exhausted from working all week and gym all week i don't do anything. it is SO hard for me to find any motivation on my days off because i am soooo spent. he is just amazing. i can't believe how lucky i am. he is my best friend and my rock. i would be lost with out dusty and he keeps me in check ;)

disneyland. wow. i am not trying to brag but i am pretty damn proud of myself. i have never planned anything this big before. hotel booked, reservations for food and shuttles made, plane tickets purchased, money for spending saved. now if i can get us all packed and not forget anything i will really be impressed. this is going to be an amazing trip. i am so excited to be staying at a disneyland property. i can't believe it. that is one thing i never thought i would be able to do. we are going to have breakfast with characters. we are going to have 4 full days in the park. we are taking a good amount of spending money. we are taking tami! we are going to have soooo much fun. i am so excited to spend some quality time with tami. we hung out ALL THE TIME when me and dusty lived with her. eating dinner together every night, watching our shows together. i miss it. can't wait to have it be the 4 of us in disneyland for 4 whole days! so excited. so stressed. so ready. now i just need the giants to win the superbowl the night before we leave...

WOW. thats all i can really say right now. i can't believe that 7 days from right now i will be running around my house packing for disneyland. i remember when we booked the trip. doesn't seem that long ago. now it is here. so weird. time is flying by lately. i have so much going on in my life right now. i feel like i am always going somewhere. always doing something. its nuts.

i am finally losing weight. the right way. no fad diets. i have been going to the gym at least an hour 5 days a week. i have been dieting. it is working! i have lost 15.3 pounds as of right now. i feel great. i do have these feelings of doubt. i always doubt myself. i never feel like it is enough. did i workout enough? did i count my calories good enough? am i strong enough to do this? its hard. i have been trying to keep positive. not easy. busting my butt to lose a pound or 2 a week is really really different for me. on hcg i was losing 1-2 pounds per day. so this slow but steady thing is all new. i am still trying to get used to it. i feel amazing tho. i have energy and i feel stronger. i am a size smaller in jeans and my boobs are shrinking! (i know most people would think this is a bad thing but in my case its really not.) i just feel like i am at war with myself. i have a constant battle going on in my head. i am so proud of myself and i feel so confident i can do this! i also doubt myself and don't feel like i will succeed. its so back and forth. all day. everyday. i am really currently focusing on keeping my head right and being aware of how good i am doing. i know i look better. i don't look how i want to yet but i know i will. just gotta keep going and stay positive. the goal is 140. i still have a ways to go but i can do it! dusty has been sooooo amazing as usual thru out my whole weight loss thing. he supports me 110%. there is no way i would be able to do this and i would of lost what i did without him. i go to the gym monday, tuesday, wednesday morning. he wakes me up, watches corbin, and still manages to get himself ready for work before i even get home. thursdays and fridays i get home from work, throw on my gym clothes and usually don't get home until 830 or 9 and dusty is home watching corbin. he has been a huge support. i am so lucky to have him. he always makes sure my gym clothes are clean for me when i get home. he has been taking care of the house and just everything. he does everything. i feel so useless around there lately. if i'm not at work i am at the gym. when he is at work i am so exhausted from working all week and gym all week i don't do anything. it is SO hard for me to find any motivation on my days off because i am soooo spent. he is just amazing. i can't believe how lucky i am. he is my best friend and my rock. i would be lost with out dusty and he keeps me in check ;)

disneyland. wow. i am not trying to brag but i am pretty damn proud of myself. i have never planned anything this big before. hotel booked, reservations for food and shuttles made, plane tickets purchased, money for spending saved. now if i can get us all packed and not forget anything i will really be impressed. this is going to be an amazing trip. i am so excited to be staying at a disneyland property. i can't believe it. that is one thing i never thought i would be able to do. we are going to have breakfast with characters. we are going to have 4 full days in the park. we are taking a good amount of spending money. we are taking tami! we are going to have soooo much fun. i am so excited to spend some quality time with tami. we hung out ALL THE TIME when me and dusty lived with her. eating dinner together every night, watching our shows together. i miss it. can't wait to have it be the 4 of us in disneyland for 4 whole days! so excited. so stressed. so ready. now i just need the giants to win the superbowl the night before we leave...