( this is how i feel, if you don't like me ranting about my life... don't read this blog. this is all it is and all it has been since it started. )

i am a very list oriented person. i make a list when i clean my house, i make lists of goals, i make lists anytime i'm going to be gone for the day so i don't forget anything... dusty hates it. i think he thinks it is a little OCD. i need to feel like i am in control, like i know exactly what is going on at all times. lets face it... with my memory issues it is very unlikely that i would remember things if i didn't write them down. i don't mean like memento style where i can't remember anything, but i will think about something i need and know i will forget so i write it down. (its a preventitive measure). i love writing out lists of goals and checking them off. i have a homemade bill system (like a graph) and i love marking things off once they are paid. i like seeing something in front of me that i know needs to get done, and once its done marking it off. well ANYWAYS the ramblings of my love of lists are getting a little out of control so i will just get to the point.... i want to make a list for the rest of the year. a list of things to do....
- i want christmas DONE on thanksgiving. i want presents bought, wrapped, tree up, presents under tree. DONE. i don't want to think/stress about christmas until december 25th. going shopping on black friday and saving up money to get everyone done (i think that is pretty awesome) and not even having to worry about spending anymore money or doing anything except enjoying the holiday month is what i want. its what is going to happen.
- suprising dusty for his birthday. my husband is amazing. i am really very lucky. we never fight (about anything!) , we laugh together, we miss eachother, we genuinely like eachother. last year he turned 30. i was broke working for good ol' skywest, we had christmas to worry about... we still somehow managed to pull off a trip to wendover. well this year i want to surprise him and do something fun again. i want to show him how much i love him and how lucky and blessed i feel that he found me.
- having our vacation PAID for! when i look back on this whole whirlwind that has been planning an EPIC disneyland vacation i can't help but think about how much we have accomplished. this is not a cheap trip. not even close. we are going for 4 nights, 4 days. we are literally getting to the hotel, dropping off our bags and heading to the park. i bought our plane tickets so we are flying confirmed, we are staying at a disney property... this whole thing started at about 2 grand. we decided to go in september. since then we bought plane tickets and only owe $700!!! i can't believe we have been able to make this a reality. i knew when we went to disney i wanted to do it right. go all out. whole 9 yards... that is exactly what it is going to be. i want it paid off before the 16th of december. piece of cake. i want to buy corbin whatever he wants. he needs a trip that is just about HIM. only corbin.
those are things in my near future. only things really i have to worry about. 3 things. 3 big things. but i know we will make it happen.

on a side note i just wanted to say that i am so thankful for my job. without my amazing job none of this would be possible. my job has opened up so many doors for my family and made so many things happen. i love it. i love the people i work with. i love it. i am soooo glad i took that leap!

lately i have just been feeling so happy. i feel like things are perfect. (there are some issues i am dealing with in tooele but i don't let that ruin me). i am very content and feeling very secure. i know i have a husband that loves me. i know i have the most perfect little boy ever. (definetely the cutest and sweetest). we have a home that we own, we can pay our bills and still have fun , go on vacations, shop, go out and not have to stress. i feel like my anxiety has improved by miles. i haven't taken anything for my anxiety in months. i am just so happy. things aren't perfect, (again tooele drama) but they are pretty damn close. this thanksgiving i have a TON of things to be thankful for. this life is exactly what i want. i love my family, i love my house, i love my job, i get to take my baby on an amazing trip, i get to give my husband a great birthday, this christmas is going to be a good one... this are so perfect. i am a very lucky girl!

( this is how i feel, if you don't like me ranting about my life... don't read this blog. this is all it is and all it has been since it started. )

i am a very list oriented person. i make a list when i clean my house, i make lists of goals, i make lists anytime i'm going to be gone for the day so i don't forget anything... dusty hates it. i think he thinks it is a little OCD. i need to feel like i am in control, like i know exactly what is going on at all times. lets face it... with my memory issues it is very unlikely that i would remember things if i didn't write them down. i don't mean like memento style where i can't remember anything, but i will think about something i need and know i will forget so i write it down. (its a preventitive measure). i love writing out lists of goals and checking them off. i have a homemade bill system (like a graph) and i love marking things off once they are paid. i like seeing something in front of me that i know needs to get done, and once its done marking it off. well ANYWAYS the ramblings of my love of lists are getting a little out of control so i will just get to the point.... i want to make a list for the rest of the year. a list of things to do....
- i want christmas DONE on thanksgiving. i want presents bought, wrapped, tree up, presents under tree. DONE. i don't want to think/stress about christmas until december 25th. going shopping on black friday and saving up money to get everyone done (i think that is pretty awesome) and not even having to worry about spending anymore money or doing anything except enjoying the holiday month is what i want. its what is going to happen.
- suprising dusty for his birthday. my husband is amazing. i am really very lucky. we never fight (about anything!) , we laugh together, we miss eachother, we genuinely like eachother. last year he turned 30. i was broke working for good ol' skywest, we had christmas to worry about... we still somehow managed to pull off a trip to wendover. well this year i want to surprise him and do something fun again. i want to show him how much i love him and how lucky and blessed i feel that he found me.
- having our vacation PAID for! when i look back on this whole whirlwind that has been planning an EPIC disneyland vacation i can't help but think about how much we have accomplished. this is not a cheap trip. not even close. we are going for 4 nights, 4 days. we are literally getting to the hotel, dropping off our bags and heading to the park. i bought our plane tickets so we are flying confirmed, we are staying at a disney property... this whole thing started at about 2 grand. we decided to go in september. since then we bought plane tickets and only owe $700!!! i can't believe we have been able to make this a reality. i knew when we went to disney i wanted to do it right. go all out. whole 9 yards... that is exactly what it is going to be. i want it paid off before the 16th of december. piece of cake. i want to buy corbin whatever he wants. he needs a trip that is just about HIM. only corbin.
those are things in my near future. only things really i have to worry about. 3 things. 3 big things. but i know we will make it happen.

on a side note i just wanted to say that i am so thankful for my job. without my amazing job none of this would be possible. my job has opened up so many doors for my family and made so many things happen. i love it. i love the people i work with. i love it. i am soooo glad i took that leap!

lately i have just been feeling so happy. i feel like things are perfect. (there are some issues i am dealing with in tooele but i don't let that ruin me). i am very content and feeling very secure. i know i have a husband that loves me. i know i have the most perfect little boy ever. (definetely the cutest and sweetest). we have a home that we own, we can pay our bills and still have fun , go on vacations, shop, go out and not have to stress. i feel like my anxiety has improved by miles. i haven't taken anything for my anxiety in months. i am just so happy. things aren't perfect, (again tooele drama) but they are pretty damn close. this thanksgiving i have a TON of things to be thankful for. this life is exactly what i want. i love my family, i love my house, i love my job, i get to take my baby on an amazing trip, i get to give my husband a great birthday, this christmas is going to be a good one... this are so perfect. i am a very lucky girl!