i am blogging simply because i am BORED. corbin is in bed, dusty is at work, the house is clean, it is a friday night so nothing is on tv. yeah bored. you can only be on facebook for so long right? i really wish i had something to read right now...
well the big countdown to my birthday has begun! it is 3 weeks away! i can't believe i am going to be 23. i feel like an old lady. i don't mean to toot my own horn but i feel accomplished for a 23 year old. no i do not have any degrees or have any traveling under my belt, but i feel like i have done a lot for my age. i have had my ups, my downs, but at this point in my life i would be happy if nothing changed. i have a decent job. i love it. i would rather make what i make and love what i do then be working some high paying job and go home every night hating my life. i found the man of my dreams and i married him. i have a beautiful little boy. i am a home owner. that's what people do right? they get married, have a baby, buy a house. i never imagined myself going the "normal" route. i guess i kinda didn't. we got pregnant, got married 2 weeks before i gave birth, and then we bought our home a year later. i always thought i would be single, no kids, traveling the world. isn't that what every 19 year old thinks? i guess life never turns out the way you imagine. i am just glad mine is good.
i think dusty changed my whole perception on things. you see, when i met dusty i was against marriage, (i didn't believe in it), did NOT want kids, (i would see kids screaming and carrying on and think to myself, "why in the world would anyone want one of those things???"), and i did not want to settle down and buy a house. i wanted to get as far away from utah as i could. i had been through enough with my last relationship to last a lifetime. heartbreak, abuse, the whole 9 yards. after that i was D O N E. no men, no babies, no nothing. then i met dusty. he was different. i remember telling my mom that he was too nice. duh. how can someone treat you so good, return your phone calls, take you out, tell you your beautiful and you say they are too nice like its a bad thing??? i hate it when girls say that. "he's too nice" well enjoy a life of shit then. saying someone is too nice is the stupidest thing i have ever heard. that belongs on my hate list. anyways... dusty took me out, called me back, wanted to spend time with me. he didn't call me names or make me feel worthless like the last guy. he was so different. i didn't know what to think. i had never been with a nice guy before. not only was he nice but i thought and still do think dusty is quite the looker. complete package. the night before my 20th birthday we were going to vegas. our first trip together. i was very nervous. just the two of us. we were still just dating, nothing serious. the night before we were leaving on the 12th of august, we were talking and decided we didn't want to see anyone else. we wanted to be together. i was terrified. here i had sworn off men and relationships and 6 months later BAM i got myself into another one. like i said before, it was different. we went to vegas and had an amazing time. one thing i look back on that really sticks out in my head is how good dusty was about me not being 21. he loves to gamble. he never once left me to go play. he never ordered a drink because he knew i couldn't. we did the touristy thing. we went on the rollercoaster, went to the aquarium, that whole part of vegas. when we got home from vegas, we were together almost every night. then something happened. i was working at virgs waitressing in slc. i wanted to come stay with dusty that night. he said he was going to bed and he thought i should go home to tooele. i was crushed. so i was at work thinking, "why in the hell is this bothering me so bad??? it's not a big deal!!" then it hit me like a ton of bricks. i am in love. that is when i started freaking out. how did i let this happen? i was never going to love anyone again because of how hurt i got last time. what have i done!!! so i left work and i was driving home and i just couldn't do it. i flipped around and called dusty and told him that we needed to talk. he was weirded out. when i got there we sat outside and i told him that i was in love with him. he didn't say it back. i didn't want him to unless he wanted to and was ready to. he wasn't. but i felt better being totally honest and putting myself out there. he knew where i stood. soooo... about a month later i was driving to salt lake early for work because i just could not live another second without having the 2nd twilight book. the plan was to leave early enough to go to barnes and noble and get my book, then go to work. it was raining. my car desperately needed new tires. i hydroplaned and spun 3 times on i-15. my car was ok, i was ok, but i was scared to death. so after i calmed down enough to drive i drove to the gas station and went through the car wash because my car was covered in mud. i called dusty from the gas station and told him what was going on. when we were getting off the phone i said "i love you." it just came out. no thinking behind it. after i said it i was like "oh shit!!!" now he is really going to think i'm physco. to my suprise, he said it back. i was shocked. so i went to work and i knew we had to talk about it. i told him i was sorry i put him on the spot and it just slipped. he said it was fine and he wouldn't of said it if he didn't want to. when we got off work and headed to dustys moms, we were laying in bed watching this stupid movie that dusty loves. the replacements. so we were just watching the movie and out of no where he said i love you. it was perfect.
i guess my birthday always makes my look back on me and dusty's beginning. 3 years ago is when it all started. in 3 years we have a one year old, have a home, and are married. i love knowing that i am in a good marriage. someone at my work out said to me last week, "you know, you are really lucky you have such a good marriage. most people don't." it really made me think. i know most people who are married don't get along. don't laugh all the time. don't absolutely love spending time with each other. i know i am lucky.
another post about dusty. i guess by now you can tell that he makes me happy. he makes me laugh. he has a really weird humor about him. it had to grow on me. hahaha. the other night one of my friends from tooele called me and i didn't see the missed call til 11pm. "well you can call her back, its only 9 in tooele." i don't know why but we laughed about that for a good 10 minutes.
oh look at me getting all gooshy. nothing new right? like i said my birthday makes me think about how it all started. i just had to write about it. i have been thinking about our beginning all night. the first time we met, our first date, everything. the i love you thing just sticks out to me. i have never said i love you first. i think its because i never felt it. i never meant it. til dusty. i don't think i knew what love was until dusty and corbin came into my life. i have said it once and i will say it again. thank god for dusty. he is my everything.
ok i'm done. i bet this me gooshing about my amazing husband gets old. well then don't read my blog because i promise this won't be the last time.

i am blogging simply because i am BORED. corbin is in bed, dusty is at work, the house is clean, it is a friday night so nothing is on tv. yeah bored. you can only be on facebook for so long right? i really wish i had something to read right now...
well the big countdown to my birthday has begun! it is 3 weeks away! i can't believe i am going to be 23. i feel like an old lady. i don't mean to toot my own horn but i feel accomplished for a 23 year old. no i do not have any degrees or have any traveling under my belt, but i feel like i have done a lot for my age. i have had my ups, my downs, but at this point in my life i would be happy if nothing changed. i have a decent job. i love it. i would rather make what i make and love what i do then be working some high paying job and go home every night hating my life. i found the man of my dreams and i married him. i have a beautiful little boy. i am a home owner. that's what people do right? they get married, have a baby, buy a house. i never imagined myself going the "normal" route. i guess i kinda didn't. we got pregnant, got married 2 weeks before i gave birth, and then we bought our home a year later. i always thought i would be single, no kids, traveling the world. isn't that what every 19 year old thinks? i guess life never turns out the way you imagine. i am just glad mine is good.
i think dusty changed my whole perception on things. you see, when i met dusty i was against marriage, (i didn't believe in it), did NOT want kids, (i would see kids screaming and carrying on and think to myself, "why in the world would anyone want one of those things???"), and i did not want to settle down and buy a house. i wanted to get as far away from utah as i could. i had been through enough with my last relationship to last a lifetime. heartbreak, abuse, the whole 9 yards. after that i was D O N E. no men, no babies, no nothing. then i met dusty. he was different. i remember telling my mom that he was too nice. duh. how can someone treat you so good, return your phone calls, take you out, tell you your beautiful and you say they are too nice like its a bad thing??? i hate it when girls say that. "he's too nice" well enjoy a life of shit then. saying someone is too nice is the stupidest thing i have ever heard. that belongs on my hate list. anyways... dusty took me out, called me back, wanted to spend time with me. he didn't call me names or make me feel worthless like the last guy. he was so different. i didn't know what to think. i had never been with a nice guy before. not only was he nice but i thought and still do think dusty is quite the looker. complete package. the night before my 20th birthday we were going to vegas. our first trip together. i was very nervous. just the two of us. we were still just dating, nothing serious. the night before we were leaving on the 12th of august, we were talking and decided we didn't want to see anyone else. we wanted to be together. i was terrified. here i had sworn off men and relationships and 6 months later BAM i got myself into another one. like i said before, it was different. we went to vegas and had an amazing time. one thing i look back on that really sticks out in my head is how good dusty was about me not being 21. he loves to gamble. he never once left me to go play. he never ordered a drink because he knew i couldn't. we did the touristy thing. we went on the rollercoaster, went to the aquarium, that whole part of vegas. when we got home from vegas, we were together almost every night. then something happened. i was working at virgs waitressing in slc. i wanted to come stay with dusty that night. he said he was going to bed and he thought i should go home to tooele. i was crushed. so i was at work thinking, "why in the hell is this bothering me so bad??? it's not a big deal!!" then it hit me like a ton of bricks. i am in love. that is when i started freaking out. how did i let this happen? i was never going to love anyone again because of how hurt i got last time. what have i done!!! so i left work and i was driving home and i just couldn't do it. i flipped around and called dusty and told him that we needed to talk. he was weirded out. when i got there we sat outside and i told him that i was in love with him. he didn't say it back. i didn't want him to unless he wanted to and was ready to. he wasn't. but i felt better being totally honest and putting myself out there. he knew where i stood. soooo... about a month later i was driving to salt lake early for work because i just could not live another second without having the 2nd twilight book. the plan was to leave early enough to go to barnes and noble and get my book, then go to work. it was raining. my car desperately needed new tires. i hydroplaned and spun 3 times on i-15. my car was ok, i was ok, but i was scared to death. so after i calmed down enough to drive i drove to the gas station and went through the car wash because my car was covered in mud. i called dusty from the gas station and told him what was going on. when we were getting off the phone i said "i love you." it just came out. no thinking behind it. after i said it i was like "oh shit!!!" now he is really going to think i'm physco. to my suprise, he said it back. i was shocked. so i went to work and i knew we had to talk about it. i told him i was sorry i put him on the spot and it just slipped. he said it was fine and he wouldn't of said it if he didn't want to. when we got off work and headed to dustys moms, we were laying in bed watching this stupid movie that dusty loves. the replacements. so we were just watching the movie and out of no where he said i love you. it was perfect.
i guess my birthday always makes my look back on me and dusty's beginning. 3 years ago is when it all started. in 3 years we have a one year old, have a home, and are married. i love knowing that i am in a good marriage. someone at my work out said to me last week, "you know, you are really lucky you have such a good marriage. most people don't." it really made me think. i know most people who are married don't get along. don't laugh all the time. don't absolutely love spending time with each other. i know i am lucky.
another post about dusty. i guess by now you can tell that he makes me happy. he makes me laugh. he has a really weird humor about him. it had to grow on me. hahaha. the other night one of my friends from tooele called me and i didn't see the missed call til 11pm. "well you can call her back, its only 9 in tooele." i don't know why but we laughed about that for a good 10 minutes.
oh look at me getting all gooshy. nothing new right? like i said my birthday makes me think about how it all started. i just had to write about it. i have been thinking about our beginning all night. the first time we met, our first date, everything. the i love you thing just sticks out to me. i have never said i love you first. i think its because i never felt it. i never meant it. til dusty. i don't think i knew what love was until dusty and corbin came into my life. i have said it once and i will say it again. thank god for dusty. he is my everything.
ok i'm done. i bet this me gooshing about my amazing husband gets old. well then don't read my blog because i promise this won't be the last time.